Being different is torturous for me

Even at the very first beginning, there are something that you are never ever able to change or improve. Maybe let it go is the best way to get away from them, but how could it be possible to ignore something that build up your personality or characters. Even though you know that is normal for this modern world, and "many people" have accepted this kind of idea, you are still lonely no matter where you are being. This is what you have done to make what you have been through. There are too many blames to take, so I really want to escape from them and hide myself for protection. It is a kind of luxury to be normal when you are so different in this society and world. I think it is the problem because they come out everywhere when I don't have other things to focus on. I know there are must some faults I have to take, but I am really tired of being what I am. If there is a god, could he or she give me some directions to the future. I am so desperate in this world. I really want to find the reason to live my life.